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Topic: The Flashback (Septumus) (Read 381 times)
Septumus
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« on: October 08, 2008, 10:24:02 AM »

(To the previous part -> http://warhammerdestruction.org/index.php/topic,2076.msg20943.html#msg20943)

Walking back down the hill Septumus had a moment to ponder his current situation.  Did he really want to get involved with House Uthorin?  At the very least he would do enough for them to make himself not so much of an outcast. 

The beach was just ahead of him, Bolt Throwers lined up in a row and cutting down any of the Asur who attempted to get charge the line they had formed.  A moment after he arrived, a deafening war cry was heard from just behind a cluster of large rocks directly in front of them.  Seconds later a full two regiments of Asurian Sea Guard came rushing out from behind the rocky formation towards his position.  The bolt throwers went back into action and the rag tag group he stood behind paused before rushing in to meet their hated kin.

Septumus held his ground, watching the battle for a few moments before the Sea Guard broke through the line and started making their way towards the bolt throwers, and himself.  As they neared him, Septumus stuck both of his hands out before him with all fingers pointed towards his aggressors.  Black tendrils shot from his fingers and flew through the group of Asur, piercing all that stood in the path.  The screaming and confusion only last for a moment and they left the wounded and continued their charge.  Septumus was ready for them; he could feel the Dark Energies crackling throughout his body as he focused on casting.  He brought his staff down, slamming it on the ground and releasing the energy built up towards his target.  Septumus yelped as a gash opened up on his chest, crackling energy escaping from his body.  He looked up just in time to see the same thing happen to his target but on a much more grand scale.  The Asur standing in the center of small group still heading towards him stopped for a split second before he all but exploded with Dark Energy, engulfing the rest of the group and sending out a small shockwave knocking Septumus off his feet.

He stood up and surveyed the area; it looked like they had won.  He noticed a small group of Druchii pointing at him and whispering amongst themselves.  Septumus smirked and shook his head, if only they knew what had really happened that night.

*insert wavy beginning flashback effects here*

He had once belonged to the small but prestigious house Tare’ht.  They weren’t large nor did they have a powerful army at their fingertips.  They did command power however.  House Tare’ht was the house you went to if you wanted to know something.  They commanded the best spies and information gatherers in Naggarond and they even held some power in the city of Hag Graef.  Septumus had been borne at a time when male sorcery was strictly prohibited and punishable by torture and death.  His talents had been recognized early on however and being in the information game they knew easily how to cover something up and keep it hidden.

More than a century had passed since the birth of Septumus before Malekith the Witch King called for the War of Wars and allowed for the usage of male sorcerers in the fight.  Of course the paranoia from a prophecy saying his death would be at the hands of a male sorcerer meant that all male sorcerers would be registered.  The training began and though it was obvious in the classes that many of the male sorcerers there knew what they were doing, they went through the motions.

It was the last Death Night before the final attack.  Witch Elves were everywhere slaughtering without regard to rank in the name of their husband.  House Nobles were usually smart enough to blockade themselves inside which is where Septumus and his family was at the moment.  They were even more on edge because rumors had been circulating the information lanes that Malekith had used the registrations as a way to remove some of the more promising and powerful male sorcerers.  Septumus had never been a slouch.

Screams came from the lower levels, had the Brides found a way in or was this something else?  Septumus and his three remaining siblings all took up arms while his mother and two of his sisters roamed the streets that night.  Servants ran to warn them before dying in a shower of blood.  That was no Witch Elf, it was an assassin!  They took up arms, his family fighting for their lives and the continuation of their house.  The fight was brutal, his brothers dying quicker than he would have imagined and his sister cowering before the knife that cut her throat.  The anger inside of him was palpable in the air.  Septumus began calling on the Dark Energies tossing bolts of it at his assaulters without constraint.  Three more of them ran into the room, answering the screams of the two that has just been killed.

Septumus didn’t remember anything past that point.  Onlookers reported that Dark Energies exploded from every door and window in the house.  The assassins trying to escape were later killed for being caught.  They found Septumus in the topmost room, barely alive with the bodies of his attackers and family tossed around and in pieces.

His mother and sisters were found dead the following morning.

*insert wavy end of flashback effects here*

Septumus chuckled to himself and began walking back towards the hill Gorthan Rakar would probably be screaming his menial orders from.  He would help house Uthorin for one reason, it would get him closer to Malekith.  The Witch King had cost him everything and it was his right to exact his revenge, a male sorcerer was supposed to kill Malekith…  Why shouldn’t it be him?
« Last Edit: October 08, 2008, 01:32:12 PM by Septumus » Logged
Septumus
Guest
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2008, 10:24:42 AM »

Feedback is always greatly appreciated!
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Blarlack
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« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2008, 10:44:14 AM »

I like this - it reads a lot better, and there's not a lot I really have to suggest to improve it. It seems to rush the actual fight, though, and I'm nothing if not a fan of a good, drawn-out fight scene, but that's my cup of tea. This story works pretty well with just a fast scene...it feels a little like a cop-out to just say "He doesn't remember anything," but that's me trying to re-write your character backstory again. Bad Squimblud! Bad!

I like it :)
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Septumus
Guest
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2008, 10:55:31 AM »

I'll be the first to admit that I shortcut through my fight scenes mostly because they always feel kind of forced when I'm writing them and poorly written.  As far as a cop out, come on, severe trauma to your body wouldn't make you pass out?  :D

As far as the short story thing, you might noticed that story 1 and 2 easily plug together for 1 long story, for some reason I tend to write this way.
« Last Edit: October 08, 2008, 10:57:24 AM by Septumus » Logged
Blarlack
Guest
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2008, 11:35:21 AM »

I did notice - and on that note, I'm going to suggest the same thing to you that I did for Asarikox - in a serial story like this, provide a link to the first part at the start of your post. That way, if someone wants to read back to refresh themselves about what they missed, there's a quick link, rather than making them dig through the forums. You'd probably also want to add a link on your last post to this one, as well, so that people get to the end and don't have to feel unfulfilled - more story for them to devour!

Serial stories are perfectly fine - just make sure they're linked to each other so that people don't have to go out of their way to continue it when they finish a part.
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FeelTheAnguish
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« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2008, 11:42:24 AM »

*I'm in a pirate mood today....yes, pirate will work fine* Pirate

The following text must be read with a pirate accent in mind:

Argggh, that be really great but like dat Goblin said, link them together like me! Makes for easy sailin' for the crew!
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